Tag Archives: article

Things We Worry About, And The Insane Ways They’ve Changed

Cracked pays people to make smart memes. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get in on it.

It seems like everyone’s worried, right now. It’s not that we haven’t been worrying all our lives – that’s human nature. What has changed is the things we currently need to worry about. We’ve changed. Our lives have changed. The world has changed.

We asked our readers to show us side-by-side comparisons of the things they used to worry about, vs. the things they worry about now. The winner is below, but first, the runners-up:

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Read more: http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_2507_things-we-worry-about-insane-ways-theyve-changed/

14 Movies That Are Weirdly Casual About Character Deaths

Movies have a weird double standard when it comes to character deaths. Some characters get swelling music and emotional final speeches; others get blown to bits in some background CGI effect intended to slightly increase the stakes of the second act. Strangely, this is even true in movies specifically about the sanctity of life, like The Shape of Water. Why is this? And is it getting worse?

Today Alex is joined by Cracked contributor Dan Hopper and writer/performer Kandice Martellaro to dissect a bunch of famous movies (even some good ones!) that are weirdly callous about people dying horrible, gruesome deaths.

Footnotes:

A Complete Accounting Of All The 267 People Jack Bauer Killed On 24 (Birth. Movies. Death.)

5 Tragic Movie Deaths We’re Not Supposed To Care About (Cracked)

Jaws (1975) – Chrissie’s Last Swim Scene (1/10) Movieclips (YouTube)

6 Classic Movies (That Narrowly Avoided Disaster) (Cracked)

Jurassic World (2015) – Pterosaur Attack Scene (4/10) Movieclips (YouTube)

The Strangely Cruel And Unusual Death In JURASSIC WORLD (Birth. Movies. Death.)

The Big Bang Theory: “The Raiders Minimization” (AV Club)

Prometheus – Sacrifice (YouTube)

The 5 Dumbest ‘I Sacrifice Myself!’ Deaths In Movie History (Cracked)

Self-driving cars: from 2020 you will become a permanent backseat driver (The Guardian)

Disaster Movie Dogs In Peril Supercut (YouTube)

5 Movies That Prove The Action Genre Won’t Let A Dog Die (Cracked)

Real Talk Time: John Wick’s Enemies Are Trying To Get Shot (Cracked)

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/podcast/14-movies-that-are-weirdly-casual-about-character-deaths

20 Tangible Effects Entertainment Has Had On Our Culture

Cracked pays people to make smart memes. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get in on it.

Entertainment is always influenced by the world around us. The thing is, sometimes it goes the other way, and a movie, show, game, or whatever will have a big influence on the world. And we’re not just talking about fandoms. It turns out that major parts of our daily lives actually have their roots in pop culture.

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Read more: http://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-1038-entertainment-that-changed-world-in-unexpected-ways

Will Drinking More Water Really Improve My Skin? I Tried It Betches

I’ve never been especially adept at hydration. If you’re confused by that statement because “being adept at hydration” literally just means “drinking water,” please know that I am equally as perplexed and frustrated by my own inadequacies. My entire life, I’ve struggled with drinking enough water. There’s likely a lot of reasons for this, ranging anywhere from laziness to total lack of self-preservation instincts, but I like to think it’s because there are so many better tasting beverages out there that make water feel like a waste of time. In this moment I can hear health professionals across country the sighing heavily, and I would like each of you to know that I, too, am disappointed in myself.

I’m sure people will read this and have suggestions for me. “But diffused water!!” someone will inevitably posting in the comments section, thinking that they are, in fact, being helpful. To you, sweet soul, I will say this: I have had your diffused water. I’ve owned countless water bottles with difficult-to-clean diffusers and filled them with ungodly combinations of fruit, herbs, and vegetables in an attempt to trick my body into drinking the one thing it needs to keep me alive. And it always works, for three days.

Three days is what it takes for me to get sick of slicing lemons and rinsing mint and studiously replacing said ingredients before they get soggy and gross. Three days is what it takes for me to forget my fruit-laden bottle in my car overnight and return to a hot, mildew, pulpy mess in the morning. Three days is what it takes for me to abandon the notion of being a better, healthier person and revert back to my former dehydrated troll state. Thank you for your attempts at saving me, but I am too far gone.

So, when I was tasked with attempting to drink double the amount of recommended water a day for an entire week, I jumped on the opportunity. Hydration for my own benefit? Boring. Ordinary. Passé. Hydration for the sake of an article where I get to talk about what a sh*tty person I am? A great time. Sign me up. Break out that soap box.

According to the Mayo Clinic Website, the amount of water we should be drinking per day is a simple question with no easy answer. This is literally my least favorite kind of question. Countless anonymous, omnipotent health gurus and doctors and highly opinionated women with no qualifications around the internet will quote anywhere from 1.5 to 3 liters a day. That’s how much they think it’ll take to offset the questionable substances I insist on pouring in my body week after week. Fools.

Across the board, it seemed like everyone could agree that about 2 liters a day was optimal, which means that for this experiment I would be consuming 4 liters a day. This is wild for many reasons, first and foremost being that I get maybe a single liter of water on a good day. I don’t even want to tell you what a bad day looks like in the event that my mom reads this and then calls and yells at me.

When you research drinking water (something no functional human should have to research, and yet here I am) there are any number of articles that will tell you that doing so isn’t just a necessary by-product of being alive, but a beauty and weight loss hack. As if water is this secret elixir that was recently discovered in an untouched cave in Peru and we suddenly have access to its magical properties.

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Shop Betches Wetness Is The Essence Of Beauty Water Bottle

Water clears your skin! Water helps you lose weight! Water, when mixed with soap, makes an excellent cleaning solution! All of these things are turned into bold headlines, heralded as newsworthy facts and not just obvious statements, probably because people like me are still Googling things like “benefits of water.” The first bullet on any of those lists should be “it keeps you alive,” but that’s just not enough for us anymore, is it?

If water is going to force me to be alive, it better also give me the skin of a 16-year-old super model and the flat, bloat-free stomach of that same 16-year-old super model. Basically, if this recommended 68 oz of water a day doesn’t turn me into Kaia Gerber, what is the point?? Why am I wasting my time??

Well, after seven days of forcing four liters of water into my body, I can tell you the point: you feel good.

After one week of sufficient hydration I can finally recognize what it feels like to be truly dehydrated and let me tell you, in case you weren’t aware, it doesn’t feel great. I can now say, without a shadow of a doubt, that I have been frequently treating dehydration with almost anything but water. Food. Iced coffee. Sleeping. Iced coffee. Unnecessary snacks. Iced coffee. All consumed under the guise of “I probably need this” when all I needed to do was drink some damn water.

So while the main item in the pro column here is, “my body is finally functioning in the manner for which it was designed,” I would be remiss to not mention the cons. Do they offset a healthy lifestyle and fully operational organs? No, but they were still annoying.

First of all, it’s really hard to drink four liters of water a day. What you’ll find if you attempt to do so is that, once you’re no longer thirsty, you have a difficult time remembering to continue to drink water. There are ways around this, but I can’t really put into the words the shame you feel when your “DRINK WATER RIGHT NOW!!” reminder pops up on your laptop while it’s plugged into a monitor during a meeting and you’re forced to explain to your coworkers that you actually require the assistance of technology to do something vital for your own existence.

Also, being fully hydrated means that you pee. A lot. Constantly, even. Enough times that people will start to get worried about you. I don’t want to project my own insecurities onto my coworkers, but if I watched someone get up and go to the bathroom twice an hour, every hour for eight hours a day, I’d assume there was a UTI involved. Or they were hungover and taking power naps on the bathroom floor. Not that I’m speaking from experience.

Did my skin miraculously clear up? No. Did my increased metabolism result in magnificent weight loss? No. Did I become a Neutrogena model over the course of seven days? Obviously not. However, if they’re interested after seeing my expert selfies below, my DM’s are open.

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As demonstrated by these (makeup free) before and after pictures, you’ll see that I look about the same except that my stress zits have accomplished an entire lifecycle during the length of this experiment. Seeing as how those tend to pop up any time I’m PMS-ing, I didn’t expect any amount of water to make a difference. But I also refuse to judge the success of this venture on the aesthetic effects that I may or may not have experienced.

Despite what any number of Instagram pages or low quality videos that your moms friends share incessantly may tell you, not everything in the year 2018 has to be a “hack.” I’m not here telling you to drink water because it will magically clear up your skin or make you drop two dress sizes in time for that big event without actually dieting or exercising or suddenly make that cursed amulet in your attic stop whispering turn you into a health and wellness guru. I’m telling you to drink water because it’s good for you. And while that may seem like a boring reason in a world of Goop and Beauty Hacks and Instant Fixes, it should be enough.

Images:  Betch Ivy Carter; Giphy (2)

Read more: https://betches.com/?p=32715

5 Steps To Organize Your Room And Declutter Your Life Betches

I have to tell you guys something. I am kind of a hoarder. Like, not in a gross A&E kind of way, but just in that I buy too many things and keep them forever “just in case”. My bathroom is a super organized graveyard of products in every scent imaginable, and yet I keep buying the same two things I actually use and don’t touch anything else. It doesn’t help that I’m the reigning queen of bargain shopping, as I can get a lot of stuff for a great price. Meaning I have a lot of stuff I don’t need. I’m moving soon, so I am currently on a decluttering spree to completely clean out my entire life and move into my smaller and somehow more expensive apartment (ugh) without every cocktail dress I wore to sorority formals in college. If you need to declutter your life rn too, here are my tips.

1. Follow The One Year Rule

The One Year Rule is simple. If you haven’t worn it or used it in a year, it needs to go. The exception is if it’s like a cocktail attire or a costume—something you need on hand, but don’t use on the reg. A good way to test this out is to put all your hangers in your closet backwards. When you wear and replace an item, you put it in facing forwards. In a year, you donate anything that still has a backwards hanger. I do this, and I still cry when I get rid of the “back hanger” items. On that note, get rid of anything damaged, anything with bad memories, or anything that no longer fits. Look, I want to be optimistic too. I currently have all of my size 0 dresses from my sorority days, ready and waiting or me to give up carbs and alcohol so I can fit in them again. But let’s be real, I don’t want to do that. And really, those dresses are too slutty for my adult aesthetic. I don’t care to be pulling it up to cover my breasts or down to cover my vag all night long. Your clothes need to fit. Get rid of it all, or take it to a place like Plato’s Closet that buys gently used clothing, and get some cash to buy stuff that you look amazing in.

2. Toss Everything Expired Or That You Don’t Like

You (and okay, fine, I) need to go through all of your (my) old makeup and bath products. If you haven’t used it in a year, it needs to go. If it’s eyeliner and mascara, it expires after 3-6 months. Most products have a tiny container printed on the back with a number in it—that is the expiration date. And let’s be real—if you’ve had the same lotion for three years and haven’t used it yet, you probably just don’t like it very much. Toss it and move on. While you’re at it, clean out makeup applicators, brushes, and sponges you don’t use, and wash the brushes you’re keeping. Also? If you have some products that are full/barely used, companies like Sephora and Bath & Body Works will return or exchange them, even if they’re super old. So if you have a few candles that you’ve kept but hate the smell of, go exchange them for things you actually like. If you have a ton of unopened products that you can’t return, donate them to a women’s shelter.

3. Go Through Your Desk And Shred Your Documents

I really love taking old papers, receipts, bills, and tossing them in a drawer. Now I never open my desk drawers because they’re soooo full of random paper. Guess what, guys? Am I ever going to be like, “oh good thing I saved this gynecologist bill that I paid online three months ago?” F*ck, no. Get a couple of chic boxes or folders to keep important paperwork and another for photos (does anyone still have printed photos?) and keepsakes, and toss everything else out. Also, you can get a shredder for documents with important info on them, and also, shredding is weirdly satisfying. But clean all that out, including all the old receipts and papers in your purse. You’re never going to look at them anyway and any receipt can be traced from your credit card online.

4. Switch Your Wardrobe By Season

If you want to keep up a minimalist aesthetic and be able to find things quickly in your closet, I highly recommend switching your wardrobe for the season. Do you need to be digging through huge winter coats in July to get to your cute summer tops? Um, no. Double your closet space by dividing your clothing into two categories: Spring/Summer and Fall/Winter. Keep whatever section is out of season in under-the-bed storage containers, or get a chic trunk for the foot of your bed. I live in LA, where we don’t even have seasons, but I still do this because I’m not going to wear maxi dresses in fall/winter anyway, nor will I wear my oversize knit sweaters in July. It saves so much space in my closet. I even put special event clothing—like cocktail dresses, etc.—in a container under my bed too, since I don’t need to look through it every day.

5. Clean Out (Or Sell) Your Technology

To fully declutter your life, you also should clean out your old technology. If you’re hoarding old iPhones or dated laptops, companies like Amazon and BestBuy will actually buy this stuff back from you. It takes up space and you’re never going to be like, “hm, forget my awesome brand-new headphones, I really miss the gigantic ones that don’t work well from the 90’s I’ve been saving in a box for 15 years for some reason” (wtf is wrong with me, guys?). When you’ve gotten this old stuff out of your physical space, you should also clean out your current technology. Copy old photos from your phone to your computer so you’ll stop getting that super annoying “out of space” message. Backup your important files to an external drive or an online backup service, like Crashplan, that does it automatically daily. As a digital artist and writer, it’s saved my life a few times. Delete anything super old or unnecessary, like old homework files, programs you don’t use, apps you’re no longer into, music you’re sick of listening to, etc. While you’re at it, clean out your phone contacts, especially ones like “John Painting Class” or “Tom [Name Of A Bar You Blacked Out At]”. Obvi you didn’t like them enough to learn their last names, so they’ve gotta go.

Images: Arnel Hasanovic / Unsplash; Giphy (3)

Read more: https://betches.com/?p=33525

26 Weird Hidden Safety Features You Probably Never Noticed

Cracked pays people to make smart memes. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get in on it.

We tend to think of corporations as huge and heartless, but it turns out that they’re actually pretty good about anticipating human stupidity and helping customers stay safe. Granted, it’s probably not out of the goodness of their hearts, but there are safety features everywhere, that the average person probably doesn’t notice.

Features like …

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Read more: http://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-1003-26-weird-hidden-safety-features-you-probably-never-noticed

Incredibly Flawed Technology That Shouldn’t Still Be A Thing

Cracked pays people to make smart memes. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get in on it.

In what is clearly a transparent grab to get you to buy new stuff, companies are constantly rolling out fancy new gadgets and technology. But because of that push we’re surrounded by tech that have been retired by now, or never should have been invented in the first place. Even the most decent product now comes with features that add nothing to its usefulness, or, even more annoyingly, that actually make it worse.

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Read more: http://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-988-incredibly-flawed-technology-that-shouldnt-still-be-thing

16 Famous Plot Twists That Make No Sense (Diagrammed)

Cracked pays people to make smart memes. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get in on it.

We all love a good plot twist — especially one that catches us truly off-guard. But unfortunately, more often than not, that fun, quirky surprise ending doesn’t make a whole lot of sense when you stop to think about it for about a minute or two.

With the help of these handy charts made by readers, we can shave a minute or two off that time and show you instantly how famous movie plot twists make no sense whatsoever.

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Read more: http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_2499_16-famous-plot-twists-that-make-no-sense-diagrammed/

27 Child Actors Who Grew Up And Are Totally Killing It Now

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Child actors who crash and burn are a gossip site staple. The thing is, there are also child stars who grew up, left show business (or stayed in it), and became incredibly successful and well-adjusted. Admit it, you’re surprised.

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Read more: http://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-983-27-child-actors-who-grew-up-are-totally-killing-it-now

Create A Jetson’s Future With This Machine Learning Bundle

This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.

If there’s one thing pop culture of the 20 century promised, it was that robots would eventually do all of our work for us. Unfortunately, our modern world still remains RoboCop-less. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t getting close. In fact, thanks to machine learning, we are now closer than ever.

What is machine learning?

Put simply, machine learning is the ability of computers to sift through massive amounts of data and discover things on their own without being programmed to do so. Put even more simply, it’s like hiring a temp who not only does everything that you tell him/her to do, but also invents a new filing system and orders you lunch because they noticed that you were getting hungry. Put simplest, the game-changing power of machine learning is the ability to go above and beyond without having to be taught.

Why is it suddenly trending?

Machine learning is not new. The term was first coined by Arthur Samuel in 1959. But the technology has advanced exponentially since Samuel first started using it to beat your grandpa at checkers. Machines can now do things that no human being ever could or should ever have to. For example, Pornhub (this link isn’t for porn, it’s for an article about Pornhub’s use of machine learning, sorry) uses machine learning to sort through images and properly tag them, doing the work in a fraction of the amount of time that it would normally take and saving some sorry intern potentially thousands of dollars in therapy bills.

How does machine learning impact me?

Machine learning is poised to be as revolutionary as the internet, and can be used in almost any field. Here are five examples of current/future uses:

Automated Cars

It seems like an ordinary commute. You’re picking up the kids from school and blasting McGruff The Magic Seahorse or whatever children listen to in the future. You’d usually have your foot on the gas, but in your new fancy self-driving car, you notice your child choking in the backseat and quickly react to save their life without careening into traffic.

Healthcare/Medicine

Sifting through seemingly identical medical images without losing focus is hard. Even the most dedicated healthcare professionals are only human (and probably coming off a 14-hour shift), and humans make mistakes. But machines can sort through images without a problem. They can even teach themselves to identify cancerous tumors in mammograms.

Retail/E-Commerce

Being a store greeter is a hard, thankless job. But for machines, it’s a piece of cake. They can teach themselves how to perceive human emotions and respond to everyone who enters the store with a personalized greeting based on their body language and appearance. We’d make a joke about that being a little creepy, but considering how your local Sephora greeter mugs you with questions the moment you walk in, we figure it can’t get any worse.

Content Distribution/Moderation

You’re watching Netflix, and the picture quality is good — so good that you’d rather Netflix and Nothing Else than Netflix and Chill. But suddenly, everyone in the house jumps online and the Upside Down starts looking indistinguishable from the Rightside Up. But thanks to machine learning, Netflix can now identify online traffic patterns and reroute content to other servers so that your 4k binge of Stranger Things continues uninterrupted.

Cybersecurity Protection

Hackers are growing more and more sophisticated, and it’s hard for overworked security engineers to keep up. But machines can now teach themselves how to recognize subtle variations in server patterns and identify data breaches before humans ever would. Take that, Mr. Robot!

Why you should become a machine learning engineer

Machine learning is obviously world-changing. But until the machines can learn how to asexually reproduce, we still have to make and operate them ourselves. Fortunately, machine learning jobs are in high demand and very lucrative. The average machine learning engineer makes an annual salary of over $100,000.

There are several ways to go about learning these skills, like with The 2018 Machine Learning Bundle. This online ten-course bundle will teach you the ins and outs of machine learning so you can create and manage projects like a pro. Whether you’re looking to join an existing company, apply your newfound machine learning skills to your own business, or just want to say cool things about robots at parties, this bundle will deliver the foundational skills you need. It may also result in people calling you “the machine whisperer.” (If they don’t, tell them to start. It’s a rad title.)

The 2018 Machine Learning Bundle normally costs $843.92, but you can get one of the courses for whatever price you want. Beat the average price (currently under $20), and you’ll take home lifetime access to ten in-depth courses.

The machines are working hard … so you don’t have to. Kick up your feet and enjoy the SelecTV By FreeCast One-Year Subscription with this Stainless Steel Double Walled Wine Glass With Lid, and let your robot butler do all the work.

Do You Want To Build A Robot? Three Totally Easy DIY Kits for creating your own lackey.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/create-jetsons-future-with-this-machine-learning-bundle/